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I didn’t know what biblical community looked like much less regular community.

When people ask me what the Fellowship program is, I almost always respond with, “It’s a refinement program!” I have said this phrase since before the Fellowship began, but until recently, I never sat with the Lord to understand what it means to be refined in Him and what that process looks like.

I’ve been thinking a lot about hope.  

Hello there! Welcome to the Fellowship blog page.

Lemme tell yah sumthin’. It’s pretty hard to allow yourself to feel the love of your heavenly Father and the community around you when you’re too puffed up about your own ability to love.

When often asked the question “what is the Fellowship?” The response I typically give is a slight laugh and saying “ya know that’s a great question”.

I knew about the Fellowship for a few years from working as summer staff.

It was a warm August day. The kind of hot you can feel as it hangs heavy around you.

Heading into the Fellowship, I was dealing with a lot of bitterness and anger.

I’ve spent the last three summers working at Sky Ranch, which if you know anything about me, is a shock.

Standing on the central deck of Tree Top Towers, some 30 feet in the air, the wind blows sharply against my face, piercing the sliver of exposed skin between my mask and my beanie.

I love to have a plan. Whether it be grocery shopping, checking the weather, or outlining my weekend social schedule, I love to know what I’m doing and to be prepared for any and all situations.

Anytime someone asks me if the Fellowship is what I expected, my immediate response is, “Not at all,” and I’m so glad it is not.  

Hear me out, I always thought people who worked at camp were the coolest. 

“… holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” This verse in Hebrews has been rattling around in my little head these past weeks.

Race day is two weeks away.

As I sit here writing this blog post, I can’t help but be filled with gratitude. I went home this weekend for a wedding, and unfortunately got stuck here because Texas forgot it was a part of the south and was suddenly hit with a snowstorm that locked me up with my parents.

Our manager always asks us to describe our current state in one word.

This year is one for the books, a year I can’t wait to look back on and tell stories of “2020”.

2 Timothy 1:8

“Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God”

Change is hard. It’s something we’ve all been forced to face every day since the beginning of the pandemic.

If I could explain to the Summer of a year ago where I would be right now, I don’t think I would quite believe it.

It’s a very strange feeling to be in arguably the hardest year of my life, then for it to only get unexpectedly harder.

Psalm 34:1 “I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.”

Early on in the Fellowship, I found myself sitting in the top of an old barn faced with a simple, elementary question. My manager asked me “who is God to you?”

What is the Fellowship? What am I learning? What is my life right now?

This is my third attempt at writing this blog post.

We are all so different, but we are also so similar. We all came to the fellowship with different expectations, but we were all called by Christ to this small town in East Texas for the same purpose: to learn how to glorify God through service and to how to look more like Christ. Our pledge verse that we chose to live by for the year is Philippians 2:1-11 which states:

I’m currently sitting in a coffee shop in Colorado Springs staring off at the mountains in the distance as some tunes blast over the speakers debating what it is I want to write for my Legacy Fellow Blog post.

I am in the girls cabin on the side of a Colorado mountain about to head out to the crisp cold to start my work day. I have my backpack, check. Radio is here and on, check.

If you were to tell me a year ago that I would be living with thirteen other people in a small East Texas town working at a camp, I would have thought you were joking.

While working at camp and living on the side of a mountain, playing "what are the odds?" has become a common occurrence.

‘Is—is he a man?’ asked Lucy. 

In May of 2017 I flew from Atlanta to Texas for the first time.

“Jesus knew the Father had given everything into His hands, that He had come from God, and that He was going back to God. So He got up from supper, laid aside His robe, took a towel, and tied it around Himself.” John 13:3-4

There was once a great sculptor, his name was Zeno he was well renowned around the world for extravagant sculptures depicting people of high esteem.

The Fellowship is described as “a year-long refinement program designed to invest in the lives of recently graduated college students who desire to look more like Christ.”

I have lived in Westcliffe now for 6 months and during my stay here I’ve turned 23 years old; therefore, I thought it would be appropriate to share 23 things I’ve learned while living the ‘small town’ life: 

And being very tired and having nothing inside him, (Shasta) felt so sorry for himself that the tears rolled down his cheeks.

The fellowship has been such a blessing to me so far. Learning more about God and also learning how to live in community is something that I know I will always value.

Have you ever been in a place that seems far from literally everything? Well, I can now attest that I have. Welcome to the wilderness.

 5 months ago, I was leaving a place that had become home.

Coming into the Fellowship, I was considered to be the “quiet” fellow of the group of fourteen. I would not initiate any conversations with anyone and especially did not really care to get to know others, besides above the surface.

Learning Daily to Follow the Lord Jesus in my Life

Often lost in thought I seek places that allow for contemplation. I am thankful for Horn Creek because I have abundant opportunities to seek solitude. It is helpful for me to spend time by myself doing something active like hiking up in the National Forest.

I remember all the insecurities and anxieties I held on to so tightly at the beginning of The Fellowship. “Who am I within this group of people? What’s my role and why am I here?”

Somewhere on a couch in Westcliffe, CO, I realized I didn’t have deep roots in my faith, I realized that I ran to everything else besides Jesus during my troubles. As tears run down my face, Julie tells me, “the Lord has called you to run to him, and you need to obey.”

A lot of this past year has consisted of God challenging and growing me in my views and experiences of biblical community, Christian servant leadership, conflict resolution, forgiveness and reconciliation, discipleship, prayer, reading the Word, and many other aspects of the Christian life that are molding me into the man that I am becoming.

“He must increase, and therefore I must decrease.” John 3:30  

Over the past eight months of the Fellowship I have been learning a whole lot about myself.  A lot of which stems from pride.  I’ve never known how much I struggled with pride until this year.  I love to win, I’ve known that I love to win, but I never realized it’s because I can’t seem to get over myself.

3 reasons why you should never do the Fellowship

April Fools :)

Here are 3 reasons why you SHOULD do the Fellowship:

I was recently updating my resume and came to the place where I needed to explain my current job. I was stumped. How could I describe everything that I have done and learned since joining the Fellowship last August, in a few bullet points?

I love storytelling. I love watching movies, listening to a public speaker, or reading a book, as long as it is a good story. And I believe telling stories to one another is one of the best ways to grow closer.

Psalm 66:10- “For you have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined.”

Today after work, I went snowshoeing to our pond on camp. It had been snowing all day, and I did not want to let the fresh powder go to waste. I strapped on my snowshoes and started walking, but as I got to the pond, something caused me to stop.

How does one learn to love? This is the question that I have pondered innumerable times during this fellowship. I have thought, “In what ways can I love those around me? How can I best serve each fellow consistently?”

When I applied for the Fellowship, I knew that two of the Pillars of the Fellowship are Biblical Community and Spiritual Formation, yet I underestimated how much of my year would be defined by those two pillars.

Early in the morning on the first day of 2019, I left the South Texan ranch my Dad had just gotten married at and headed back to Colorado to continue the Fellowship. I had a long day ahead of me, but had planned my day in such a way that I would get to camp at around 7pm. Not too late, and plenty of time to hang out with some people and catch up a bit. I filled up my truck at a gas station that strangely had a rooster outside, got some snacks, and started my 12 hour drive. I drove up through Texas’ oil country, and made it through Amarillo and into New Mexico with no issues. I was right on schedule.

A year ago today I had just moved to a new state, literally the
day before. I had taken an internship at a camp in Texas. My heart was telling me that I was in the right place, but every other part of me
was telling me that I needed a full-time job. I had a lot of expectations of what I thought my life should be like at the age of 24, but of course none of those expectations have become reality.

As this season of advent is upon us, often this time of year puts us in a place of remembrance. We remember Christ coming as a child, in human flesh, to become the Savior of the world. We remember loved ones by giving them gifts we stash underneath the tree. But for many, in this season of joy, we find our hearts aching in the waiting.

What is the fellowship? Many people outside the fellowship have asked me “what do I do at Sky Ranch’s program called the fellowship?” I have pondered an appropriate answer to this very loaded question. After much thought, the best response I have to “what is the fellowship” is that the fellowship is hard. It’s so hard, it’s even hard to explain to its fullness to properly give it’s due. 

He’s so determined to pursue us and pursue us with his whole heart. He gives us everything that he has. That’s all his eye can focus on.

Proverbs 3:5 ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding;”

In His infinite wisdom, God situates us in places, sometimes expected, other times unexpected, with the intention of His glorification and our sanctification.

A phrase you hear get tossed around here at Horn Creek is the idea of a “mountain top experience”.

This is what I wrote in my journal one day:

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1

“Would you want to move to Colorado for a year? Let me know what you decide in twenty-four hours.” Who knew this crazy question would alter my life.

“Why do you want to be in the fellowship?” The question that every fellow is asked of in their interview and, a question that I could answer so confidently.

As I looked around the circle of familiar faces, it suddenly hit me: we won’t be together for much longer. The thought was sobering, but I reflected how these people, once complete strangers, had become my community. And I realized that even though we would soon be apart, what a gift it has been to share this year together.

I am reminded of why the Lord chose us as people and how that changes the lens under which we are seen.

To say I was scared is an understatement. In fact, I don’t think a combination of nervousness or anxiousness could’ve accurately described how I felt as I drove my car packed to the roof towards this new place I would eventually call home, Sky Ranch.

What are you even doing this year?

Good question. I frequently ask myself the same thing. It’s hard to put into words what the fellowship consists of, because it’s a lot of different things.

Coming off a great Summer in Horn Creek, CO, it seemed to me that coming to Van, TX would be a step down in many regards.

“Ouch!” I yelled as some of the fellows and I were clearing brush. “Ugh, this is annoying.” Thorns. Everywhere!

The Fellowship was a huge step into the unknown for me.

I was frustrated, hurt, heart broken, and confused. Everything I planned for my life ended, done - it’s was gone...

While I knew I was headed toward a safe place that I love and trust so much, I knew I was headed into the unknown. I truly didn’t know much about what the Fellowship would actually hold for me

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

-Romans 8:28

I recently came into a season where I have felt a lot of need. Early on in September, I found out my grandmother was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.

I imagine most people ask one of these two questions when it concerns the fellowship. “What is the fellowship like?” or “What do you do in the fellowship?”. 

Earlier in the fall I found myself struggling with comparison and discontentment. I felt trapped in the distraction of the future, always looking to preparing for the “next thing”.

“It’s difficult”, “it’s rough”, “it’s tiring”, all of these remarks were somewhat common when asking former fellows what their year was like.

Seven. I was seven years old the very first time that I got the wind knocked out of me.

I’m the youngest sibling of two. I just have one older brother, whom I look up to and respect more than maybe he even knows.

Okay so maybe this isn’t my diary but I didn’t know where else to start. As I sat down to write this, I had a lot ideas about what the subject could be

I love where God has taken me in my life, but never in a million years would I have thought that I would be living in Van, TX.

When I was searching for what to do right after college, I did what millennials do best – refer to Google.

Wanna hear one of the most prideful thoughts my mind comes up with some times? (I knew that would hook you).

I’ve officially been a fellow for four months and 27 days (probably more by the time you read this). During the fellowship I’ve been challenged beyond measure.

Gathered around the table, coffee in hand, plates full of chocolate chip and banana pancakes, each person said one thing they were thankful for.hrist, we can experience the joy and life that comes from living in community with one another, just as God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit live in perfect harmony with each other.

The mornings sitting at the breakfast table with your people will be so much sweeter when hearts are full of honesty, gratitude, and grace. Who are those gathered around your breakfast table who sharpen you?

Hello friends, wow what a year it has been! One word to describe 2016 so far? Change.

I always wanted to be the best I could be for whoever valued my “worth” here on this earth.

Do you ever look back to where you were a month ago, a year ago, maybe five years ago?  Do you wish you could tell yourself things you know now?

The first eighteen years of my life were entirely planned out.  Born and raised in the same town, I went to the same schools with the same people, and I didn’t experience much change.

Being men and women in and of the Word. This was Jill’s prayer for us the first night of the Fellowship.

It has been almost five months since I started the Fellowship, and God has already taught me so much about patience, humility, and most recently, contentment.

My prayer throughout this semester has been a prayer for spiritual strength.