Community - Cody Cummings

COMMUNITY

Leaving college, I didn’t think that community could get much better. I had really good friends that enjoyed good coffee, good conversations, and loved the Lord. I was honestly really sad to be leaving the friends that had become family to me. Now, if you ask any of my college friends about my excitement to move to Colorado they would have told you that it was all I talked and probably thought about. Honestly, looking back I couldn’t really tell you what I expected the Fellowship to be (probably should have written that stuff down). I knew from conversation with a couple past Fellows that it would be a time of refinement and they couldn’t really describe the way it would sanctify me but they told me to embrace the process. I was told that there would be times I would look around me and ask “how did I get here?” or “why am I here?” I was told that there would be jobs I was going to hate and jobs that I love, but in every situation would be a moment for growth. I didn’t realize it then and it probably wasn’t something that past Fellows could put to words but the growth doesn’t really come from the work itself but the community I am around that expects more out of me. I came into the Fellowship with an arrogance that my college community was probably blind to, and a laziness that not many people saw. Those got exposed quickly. I came in allowing myself to live in lies and sin that I had become accustomed to believing to be true and not that big of a deal. I believed I had little to no worth and that was ok because it was just me having an understanding of my depravity. I didn’t realize how that would negatively affect how I not only treated myself but how I treated others. I believed that because I am a nerd about theology and I wanted to be a pastor that it made me closer to God than the everyone around me. Just because I own a few more books than others doesn’t mean anything if I’m not allowing that knowledge to be a vessel that God uses to reclaim my worship. I was living in deep sin that had been going on for years that had become natural and just something I did. My accountability wouldn’t let that live for another moment. I was lazy and complained about the work assigned or if I was tired. My community called it out and expected growth. I self isolated at times out of shame and guilt but once again my community desired to see me grow and pursue holiness. 

God has exposed these lies and sin, taught me to leave them at the cross, and calls me to put on holiness. He didn’t teach me to strip off my unrighteousness and stay idle. Christ has taught me to pursue holiness and put on holiness. To pursue a life that God is pleased with. One of the things about my fellowship that I am eternally grateful for is how much they push me to grow and how much they challenge the way I will naturally become lazy and complacent. In the moments where I ask “why am I here?” or “what am I doing?” and as I'm walking up the meadows cabin trail for the 5th time, I no longer find a way to complain to get out of work but instead find a way to encourage or find the best way to work and have good conversation. At times, I think we’ve all struggled with attitude in work, but to grow as a whole, we must each individually make the decision ourselves to go into work with a better attitude. In my day-to-day, I recognize my need to grow in my discipline. A wise man recently told me that ungodly men are undisciplined men, and godly men are disciplined men. The fellowship is providing me the opportunity to be a disciplined man, not just in work but in my walk with the Lord, my time throughout the day, and my relationships with those around me and those far away. I don’t know if the “how” or “why” questions will go away but I pray that the content of the questions will change. Instead of “how did I get here?” I hope I start asking “how can I make the most of this?” and instead of “why am I here?” I hope I start asking “what does the Lord have in store for me today?” I will probably get to the end of the fellowship and be like past Fellows who can’t really put words to the transformation that just happened but I don’t see that as a discouragement but instead a motivator to pursue holiness in this season that the Lord has set aside purely for refinement. 

I may not know what the next 8 months have in store but I look forward to the many moments of refinement the Lord has prepared for me and my team. I wonder what my response to a potential future Fellow will be when they ask me what my experience was and what they can expect, but I know I’ll probably yap their ear off about having a growth mindset and having expectations for deep refinement. I wonder what 8 months from now Cody will want to have said to January Cody. Could he say anything to prepare him for the coming Spring and Summer? Do I have anything I wish August Cody would know about the Fall and how much I would miss the mountain as soon as I got back to East Texas for Christmas? I recognize that I won’t reach the completion of sanctification anytime soon and enter into glorification but I pray the Lord puts disciplines in my life that completely change my perspectives on sin, lies, and my old ways of life. I pray he instills in me a desire to always pursue holiness no matter the trial or tribulation I meet in this life. 

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