Choosing Him – Lynette Benson
I always wanted to be the best I could be for whoever valued my “worth” here on this earth. I believed that you should always finish on a high note in order for anything to be done well. While playing volleyball, I would stay late after most practices to make sure that my swing and accuracy always finished with perfection. Discipline and persistence has been apparent throughout my life. For so long I’ve believed that God only wanted perfection because He is perfection. I was so wrong.
Even though I know God does not want me to be perfect, it’s hard to convince my mind that it’s ok to be imperfect. Sky Ranch has opened my mind and my heart in so many ways. Being in such a close knit community forces me to show others my failures. It also allows me to see that the people I work with struggle with some of the same things I do. These people, the Legacy X Fellows, have given me the opportunity to share my burdens I carry. Never before have I been with a group of people who care for and love me in a way that I am certain is pure. Even when my over achiever self makes them straighten chairs for an extra 45 minutes for a group of 450 people that will terrorize and destroy them in a few hours.
These people have shown me how evident Satan is in our daily lives and how he will continue to try and destroy a community such as ours. The Fellows have helped guide and lead me. I have learned to value community. Before, I thought I could achieve anything on my own; I actually thought it was the only way I could achieve anything. Again, I was so wrong. I have been so motivated by personal achievements that I forgot how much of what I do affects not only me, but everyone else as well. My constant need for a fast pace lifestyle made me tune out those who are currently in my life and causes me to regret it later on. I crave instant gratification from others. My patience was somehow lost throughout the past couple of years, and I certainly was unaware of this before starting the Fellowship.
Through setting up chairs, to only be told they must be taken down immediately after, to sanding down bunk beds for 8 hours straight, that little campers decided were a good idea to graffiti all over, I’ve learned the value of patience once again. Every little bit that my Fellows and I do, is not only for the people who come to Sky Ranch, but for the Lord. Because of every task that we are given, it is to glorify God and to bask in His presence. We are allowing people to come and enjoy their experience, hoping that they are able to see the light of the Lord within us.
My life does not make sense. Before, the Fellowship I was certain of what I was doing and why. It wasn’t until the Lord lead me down a path where I didn’t know what was next that I learned; all he wanted was for me to choose Him.
Know that this is hard to articulate and put into words for you to understand, but it’s because I am trying to describe God’s greatness.
“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:1-4