Change is hard - Rachel Mayforth
Change is hard. It’s something we’ve all been forced to face every day since the beginning of the pandemic. For myself, it came in the form of a job loss, moving, new ways of doing things like masks and excessive amounts of hand sanitizer, and the revelation that none of us were meant to live alone. I’d like to say right now that this is not a blog post about Covid; I think we’ve all had enough of that. It is my desire to spend these words sharing about something God brought into light because of Covid and even more so through my time here in the Fellowship program. And that is that I was sleeping. That I was alone in my sin and maybe even my life at times, and Covid didn’t cause the heartbreaks of loneliness and complacency in my life. The truth is these hurts were here long before the pandemic and I just covered them up with busyness and constant entertainment. The Lord used this season to expose these things in my life and force me to acknowledge them. Over these last few months and for many months to come I’m sure, the Lord and I have been processing the sleepy habits and he’s been teaching me a new way.
The Lord has continued to lay Ephesians on my heart. Over the summer, my friends and I did a Bible study on the book and in our first six weeks here, we spent time meditating on each chapter of this letter. I’ve felt the Lord continue to whisper, “wake up, sleeper”. In so many ways, I’ve felt that I’ve been sleeping in my walk with God. Settling for a life that is comfortable and complacent and just going through the motions without allowing my heart to be changed. This season has forced me awake--like light shining through a window before my alarm has gone off, I feel pulled unwillingly out of my comfort zone and into a place of full dependence on God.
God has continued to bring my sin and selfish desires into the light and into full exposure. He has corrected me in my desires to do what’s best for me and what feels easiest.
The Fellowship has provided opportunities for me to do things that are really hard and things that I couldn’t do without his strength within me. Living with six roommates is hard, working long days is hard, being humble in the daily tasks he gives me is hard, but in his love and grace he provides the endurance necessary to continue to do hard things and the opportunities to practice that dependence on him. Amidst all the changes we’ve endured this past year, God has never changed and never will. He’s the God that is willing to wake us up, over and over again to remind us of the life he’s called us towards. One that’s richness and satisfaction is not circumstantial but is guaranteed when we depend on him and allow him to be our source of joy.
“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:
“Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”
- Rachel Mayforth